Chris Cooksey knew he had to take off after his big brother, the towering Brad Cooksey.
When the buzzer went off while officiating the finals of a tournament in Newcastle between Heritage Hall and Ada a few years back, Brad Cooksey went out the back-exit door to flag down a fan. Younger brother Chris ran outside to chase him down.
“I gotta look out for Brad,” Chris Cooksey recalled. “It should be the other way around,” the high school basketball referee of 11 years said with a chuckle.
A Heritage Hall fan had been ripping Brad Cooksey beyond belief with several demeaning words, making Brad’s face red as a radish, Chris recalls. Pushed to a boiling point, the officials had no choice but to toss the unruly fan, who is supposed to leave the premises. Refusing to leave, Brad and Chris had to stop the game — prompting Brad to reconcile the hostile situation afterwards.
“People don’t realize referees are ordinary people just like everybody else and it’s not easy,” said Brad Cooksey, who has officiated high school basketball for 10 years and is the President of the Lawton Fort Sill Economic Development Corporation. “We understand that fans are fans and they root passionately for their teams. The fascinating part of this is we get to still be around the game of basketball, give back to the kids and be around the teams, seeing them play the game they love.”
Earlier this March, the brothers — who both graduated from Eisenhower before playing college basketball at Cameron — made their combined 11th state tournament appearance as officials.
Their journey as basketball officials is a family affair, started by their role model, father and longtime referee John Cooksey.
Brad was a teenager at the time, but Chris vividly remembers hopping into the car as a kid and going all over the place with his dad for games. When John officiated the state tournament each year and got his assignment at the Thursday morning officials meeting with the OSSAA, he would take Chris out of school to come up to Oklahoma City with him.
John reffed the state’s final 6-on-6 girls game and also officiated a 1991 showdown between a pair of former professional athletes in Ryan Minor of Hammon and Bryant Reeves of Gans.
After the brothers starred at Cameron — with Brad playing from 1993-97 and Chris playing from 2001-04, it marked the first time in their lives the brothers were away from basketball, which only amplified their passion for the sport.
“Being away from basketball made me want to get back into it,” said Chris Cooksey, who was an All-Stater at Eisenhower and is now working in civil service as a budget analyst at Fort Sill.
“Refereeing was a natural thing to do,” echoed Brad, who taught and coached at Eisenhower for 11 years before diving into commercial real estate. “Watching dad all those years and how to go about refereeing drew us to it.”
For the past decade, the brothers have been following in their father’s footsteps with their side hobby, which has allowed them to grow closer together despite Brad being seven years older than Chris.
“We never got to play on the same team, but reffing has been a great way to spend time together and be on the road,” Brad Cooksey said. “Even being here at the state tournament not reffing the same games together is fun. It’s quality family time.”
Quality family time has produced some memorable moments on the court.
“There was one coach who was on Brad’s butt and the coach then started griping at me, saying, ‘He’s a lot bigger than you are so I’ll take my chances with you.’ A ton of people ask, ‘Y’all are brothers? He’s so much bigger than you,’” Chris Cooksey recalled with a laugh.
Eager to see Lawton ‘thrive’
As the President of the Lawton Fort Sill Economic Development Corporation, Brad Cooksey goes at full speed just like his trips up and down the court when reffing.
It’s a never-ending job trying to recruit new businesses to Lawton and sometimes he can’t officiate a game. But the nights during the winter he does get to officiate provide him with a way to ease stress and an avenue of clarity he can take back to the job.
“Those games in the evening are a good getaway to get your mind off things while also giving me an opportunity to visit other towns and see things Lawton can maybe adapt and learn from or not do at all,” Brad Cooksey said. “Lawton is our home so we take great pride in Lawton and want to see our community thrive.”
Brad and Chris may be biased having grown up in Lawton, but they do recognize what makes the community and the Southwest Oklahoma region so unique. That’s why it’s hard to process when fans — such as those at the state tournament labeling officials as racist when a call doesn’t go their way — make it personal.
“Lawton is a huge melting pot of people and cultures,” Chris Cooksey said. “If they only knew Brad, myself and the other officials and who we are, then they would realize that what they’re saying is the furthest thing from the truth. That’s the part that gets frustrating. Some fans do cross that line. It’s something that hurts deep because it’s not the way we raise our families.
“Nobody is better than anybody. We’re all equal.”
Currently, Cooksey and the LFS Economic Development Corporation are trying to draw more baseline tier one jobs that can produce in the business community.
“We’re trying to set the foundation and get the infrastructure in place to give us more of an advantage and an opportunity to stand out from other communities,” EDC President Brad Cooksey explained. “Whether it is high-paying jobs, manufacturing jobs or whatever, we’re gonna be prepared to bring in those type of businesses.”
His brother noted that Brad’s natural ability to relate to coaches and players on the court has helped him in his career.
“It’s Brad’s ability to talk to people. No matter where we go — and it’s the same with our dad — they can get along with anybody and walk into a room and relate to anyone and make people smile,” Chris said. “On the court, a coach can be mad but Brad will go over and talk to them and they’ll be fine. Afterwards, the coaches will say, ‘Hey, I appreciate you guys. You talk to us, let us vent on the court and try to relate to us.’ That helps with the job and reffing as well because that great type of character has no boundaries.”
Ref comradery serves as coping mechanism
Dealing with haughty fans appears suffocating, but the Cooksey brothers and other officials have learned to drown that out and focus on the brotherhood and the support system they share.
“Just like a player in the heat of battle you don’t really hear a lot of that stuff,” Brad Cooksey said. “We’re concentrating to keep control of the game. All our focus is on the game to do the best job calling it and keeping the players safe.”
Still, not everything can be tuned out so it helps to laugh it off.
“Dealing with fans comes with the territory. Lines are crossed,” Chris Cooksey said. “We’ll come together at midcourt and laugh about things. Some of the things they say are pretty dang funny. Some of it is so off the wall and the furthest thing from the truth from the rule. You laugh about it and go about your business.”
Through those laughs, officials naturally form tight-knit friendships and hang out off the court just like teammates.
“We’re all friends. It doesn’t matter if you’re first weekend during Class A and B or the second weekend for 2A through 4A. We all know each other and are buddies,” Brad Cooksey said. “It’s a good time together. We enjoy the fellowship with other families.”
Yours truly can be the first to attest to the referee comradery.
Last year after one of the nights of the state tournament, I was done with coverage after deadline and was offered to go to Buffalo Wild Wings with Chris Cooksey and about a dozen other referees and their families to eat, laugh and tell stories.
I got to see the lively group decompress after intense, high-stakes games and got to see the band of brothers up close. The friendships are as genuine as they come.
Talking out a game can also serve as a coping mechanism for officials, as the Cooksey brothers, Charlie Ednie — another Lawton local refereeing at the state basketball tournaments — and others offer advice to each other and talk out particular in-game sequences.
“Being around other officials you talk about different situations and you can relieve some of your frustration with other officials because they understand,” Brad Cooksey said. “We got a great foundation of referees in Lawton that work on developing the younger guys and helping out.”
A few veteran officials took Chris Cooksey under his wing and showed him the ropes when the younger Cooksey started reffing over a decade ago.
A decade later, Chris and Brad Cooksey have found their third niche — alongside their family and work life.
Brad summed up the comradery that encapsulates not only his relationship with his brother, but also the referees they’ve crossed paths with across Oklahoma.
“It’s a real good band altogether.”